You’ve likely attended or heard of a baby shower. Perhaps you’ve even organized one. Gender reveal parties are also becoming increasingly common around the world. But what about a Blessingway or Mother’s Blessing Ceremony? Come, and we’ll tell you all about it.
What is a Mother's Blessing Ceremony?
A Mother’s Blessing Ceremony or Blessingway is a celebration, a kind of rite of passage where the aim is to support, prepare, inspire, and encourage the pregnant woman before the day of childbirth. It’s an entirely different approach from the typical “parties” like the Baby Shower and the Gender Reveal Party that usually take place during pregnancy.
Differences between Mother's Blessing and Baby Shower
While a Baby Shower focuses on the baby (similar to a Gender Reveal Party) and aims to provide material support to the soon-to-be parents, a Mother’s Blessing Ceremony has an entirely different logic.
Firstly, a Mother’s Blessing is not exactly a “party” but a ceremony. It has more of a “ritual” atmosphere than a “birthday,” so to speak. Moreover, the focus is on providing emotional and psychological support to the mother. The celebration revolves around the pregnant woman, her transition from daughter to mother, and how she feels about the impending childbirth.
In summary, the purpose of a Mother’s Blessing Ceremony is to make the new mother feel embraced, strengthened, and supported, helping her to feel more relaxed and confident for the childbirth.
Is the Mother's Blessing Ceremony only for religious people?
Although the name may suggest a religious connection, a Mother’s Blessing Ceremony can be organized by and for anyone, from an Atheist mother to an Umbanda or Protestant mother. The main point is not religion or spirituality on itself (but they can be, if it’s important and brings comfort to the expectant mother), but the support and emotional strengthening which the mom-to-be receives from the people on the ceremony.
Why is Mother's Blessing important?
Pregnancy can be a magical period for some and a real challenge for others. Besides all the physical difficulties and discomforts (such as nausea, pains, the hormonal rollercoaster, and sleepless nights in the final stretch), it’s quite common for women to feel sidelined during pregnancy. Suddenly, it’s as if we’ve become walking wombs, and all our subjectivity goes down the drain.
Even if said in a playful way (which, when repeated insistently, can become quite uncomfortable), we often hear that “now it’s all about the baby,” “the fun’s over,” “no more nights out.” The “advice” and “recommendations” all seem directed toward the child’s well-being, never the mother’s: can’t do this because it might affect the baby; shouldn’t eat that because it’s harmful; don’t go there because it’s not a place for pregnant women…
In other words, these constant, unnecessary, and impolite “reminders” can project a distorted concern and self-image onto the mother, who already has to deal with the physiological changes of pregnancy and the anxiety of childbirth.
Thus, a Mother’s Blessing Ceremony is an excellent way to show support, make our pregnant friend or sister feel valued for who she is, and help her feel special, cared for, and loved. This, of course, aids in calming and strengthening her for the journey of childbirth.
How to throw a Mother's Blessing Ceremony
A Mother’s Blessing Ceremony should provide an intimate and welcoming environment, so keeping the preparations simple is better than creating a spectacle around the event. Below is a step-by-step guide on how to organize a Mother’s Blessing for your pregnant friend!
Whom to Invite?
This is the first question, not only because it can set the mood of the environment but also because it affects the logistics of preparations (such as food and drinks and activities). Therefore, I recommend inviting only people from the pregnant woman’s close circle. People with whom she has a special connection and feels comfortable with. After all, the Mother’s Blessing is not for the pregnant woman to entertain but to be cared for!
Suggestion: invite her best friends, sisters, and mother (if the pregnant woman has a positive relationship with them), and her doula, if she has one. 10 to 15 guests are sufficient for the ceremony.
It is very important to explain to the guests in advance what the Mother’s Blessing will be like. For many, maybe even for you, this might be the first time they participate in or organize such an event. Explain that they should leave their own concerns and experiences at the door and focus on the pregnant woman; tell them what to expect from this ceremony.
When to host the Mother’s Blessing?
Ideally, the Mother’s Blessing should be organized in the final stretch of pregnancy, between 36 and 38 weeks. I do not recommend leaving it after 38 weeks, as the baby may not wait…
Where to host it?
The Mother’s Blessing can take place in a living room, one’s yard, or in the garden. In short: any setting, as long as it’s a place with enough space for everyone to feel comfortable. If the pregnant woman has a spacious home or garden, organizing the Mother’s Blessing there might be the best idea for her to feel at ease. Otherwise, it can also be held at one of the guests’ homes.
Decoration helps create an atmosphere, adding more emotion to the ceremony and making it more memorable. Here are some suggestions:
- Photo string;
- Goddess or Our Lady of Good Deliverance altar (for religious/spiritual mothers);
- String lights;
- Scented candles and/or incense;
Food and Drinks
Each guest could bring a dish or drink for the ceremony. Think of easy-to-share and dishes that aren’t too messy. Cakes, cookies, snacks, and fruits are always good options. Needless to say that avoiding alcohol is a good idea, opt for smoother options such as teas and natural juices.
Activities for the Mother's Blessing
Initially, all guests come together to offer a moment of relaxation to the pregnant woman. Prepare a foot soak with aromatic flowers and lavender oil, a shoulder massage, offer some tea. Even playing instrumental music in the background to make everything more pleasant.
A Mother’s Blessing Ceremony is an excellent opportunity for a “natural ultrasound,” which is nothing more than a beautiful painting on the pregnant woman’s belly! Acrylic paints are the most common, but latex paint can also be used, allowing you to play with reliefs and 3D effects (if someone is feeling artsy!). You can use a brush, sponge, or just your hands to do the painting.
Memories and Photographs
If you’ve chosen to make a photo string, this can also be part of the activities. Ask each guest to bring one or two of their favorite photos with the pregnant woman; sitting in a circle, each should show the chosen photos, sharing a good memory with everyone, and then hang them on the string and pass it on to the next.
Red Thread & Encouragement
Using a roll of red ribbon (wool, satin, or another type of your choice), each woman should wrap the ribbon around her wrist while sharing, with everyone, what she sees most positively in the pregnant woman (intelligent, supportive, loyal, dedicated). Then, without cutting the thread, she should pass the roll so that the next person does the same, and so on until everyone is connected and has shared their compliments. The thread conveys the idea of connection, and the compliments serve to remind the future mom that she is up to the challenge and boost her self-confidence.
Guests can bring a gift for the honored mother, which can be symbolic or something that will help her through childbirth (such as a bag of seeds for a compress, comfortable clothing for childbirth) or postpartum (nursing bras, postpartum pads, nursing pillow, etc.).
With so much care and support, you or your pregnant friend will undoubtedly feel more empowered and prepared to go through childbirth and step into this new phase that opens up with the baby’s birth!
Liked it? Share it with a friend and tell us in the comments if you’ve ever organized a Mother’s Blessing!